Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Baldy

Lets us just get the obvious million dollar question out of the way cuz you know somebody is bound to ask......   WHY?
  1. Vanity - Excessive pride in one's appearance or accomplishments; conceit
  2. Recovery - Wounds, specifically road rash, heals significantly faster when you can clean them properly without hair to hold/attract dirt and make infection.
  3. Any experienced competitive cyclist will understand #2, otherwise you are either a non-cyclist or ride like a pussy so please refer back to #1 pretty boy.
The wife was not a happy camper. She likes my furry legs and I felt bad that she is not impressed. On the other hand, I would totally RAGE if I had a bout of road rash that didn't heal fast enough or got infected all because she made me not shave. Imagine throwing away 8 months of training and missing Ironman Lake Placid over something so simple. Bring on the razzors!

This is not the first time reverting to silky smooth limbs so I knew what to look for at the store. I couldn't find any paint stripper at the Shoppers Drug Mart so I opted to get Nair yet again. Its rather presumptious of the hair removal cream companies to put a picture of a woman on the front of the bottle or specifically label it 'for woman'. I'm sure some men use this stuff too, why shut off that part of the market by automatically assuming only woman are out to buy this crap? How rude.

Furry Front
Furry Back
Anyhow couldn't find the old school plain Nair-only bottle. All they had was Nair with strawberry scented, B12 fortified, sunflower seed, lavendar extract, Omega fortified, fluffy bunny inspired, laced with smelly shit formula. Damn. I just wanted paint stripper, but I guess the sunflower tea tree oil one will have to be manly enough for now. Oh, and dont forget the pink razors. Actually I love pink razors, I use womans razors on my face all the time. Woman's razors are soooo much better than mens razors. Then again, maybe its because my face is so messed up, but whatever. I picked up the pink gurly blades.
Oh and gum. That way it rounded off the purchase as if the Gum was for me and the pink stuff is for her, which she wasn't present so I got a strange look from the gurl at the cashier.

Mosquito Season
I had to make this quick, I have a swim later in the evening. A quick application of the nair brought back memories of the horrid smell I so vaguely recall. Paint stripper would have smelt much better. I made sure to layer it on thick as last time it practically didn't do anything. 10 minutes later and the stuff hardly done anything. After smelling that crap for 10 minutes straight I pretty much wasted my time. Very little came off. Out came the frilly pink razors and voila - finished just in time to run out of hot water. Perfect timing.

It feels weird. It doesn't feel right. My soft lounging jogging pants don't feel so comfy. The skin needs to toughen up I bet. The wife wouldn't even touch them. She's pissed, however it's been 10 years already and at least one of us has got to start shaving our legs. If it ain't gonna be her, then I may as well do it. hah! In her defence she has romanian blood which were direct descendants of sasquatches, or was that warewolves? No matter, mine are smoother than hers. She's probably just jealous.

Bald
Actually I dont like it, but its a necessary evil. It could be worse - many others shave arms and chest but I gotta draw the line somewhere right? lol

Desperately need a Tan!
Oh my swim was 'ok'. I nearly passed out in the sauna afterwards. I was really nautious, I think its a combination of not eating enough and dehydration. I'm so fixated on my weight problem that I haven't been eating enough. I gotta carb up for the weekend now so I'll feel better later, except for the sack of potatoes I'm gonna have to carry with my for the 30Km running race. Doh!



Can you count the scars?
Yeh my knees are messed up! lol
TRAINING

Swim - 1:00hrs

8 comments:

  1. my wife is not a huge fan of this either. However, I have a gnarly 3x4 scar on my outer left calf that tells the story for me. So bad that 20 years later and the skin pigment never returned. I hope it is never tested again. But really who am I fooling, if you are in the mix and going fast, it's going to likely happen again. I just hope it's only skin.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Welcome to the club. Did mine 2 weeks ago or so... usually I do it while still drunk the day after a serious binge drinking activity (Memorial Day weekend) but this time I did it sober and quicker than last time.

    Nair doesn't work for me. I tried it twice, just smells horrible.

    I use guy razors... H got pretty PISSED OFF when she realized (last September) that I have been using her razors to shave for months. It was a good run while I had it haha.

    I shave the chest too. I am a hairy beast... I draw the line at my arms... although, if I get drunk enough, that might seem like a good idea too.

    Fran is hilarious... my wife would NEVER bite my leg haha!

    Why does she hate it? Heather prefers shaved legs. Maybe Fran needs a werewolf?

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  3. So you think this will help you run faster this Sunday at Around The Bay?

    ReplyDelete
  4. You don't have a weight problem, you have a BRAIN problem. I don't know where you think you are overweight but please put your smart brain back in yer head. jesus. you are fine and you have loads of hard training ahead of you.. stop worrying.


    I have no comment on yer nekkid legs.

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  5. suddenly feel like a shave

    paint thinner!

    D

    ReplyDelete
  6. this cracked me up! love the NAIR rant.

    I remember in 6th grade, my friends and I made fun of our gym teacher behind his back because he shaved his legs... saying stuff like, "what woman would want to go out with a man who shaves his legs?!" now... almost 20(?!) years later, I can say that I've dated more than one leg-shaving cyclist/tri dude - I am *that* woman! ;)

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  7. Wow, if your legs were as short as my husbands, that double leg shot would have been the money!
    I have to say that I'm siding with Fran on this one. Freddie shaved his arm for his tattoo and it totally grossed me out.
    Jenn
    p.s. - I totally agree with Adena. Weight problem? You have a huge race in 5 days, you should not be so hungry that you want to pass out. As pretty as you are, your not a figure fitness model, dehyration is not part of the plan!

    ReplyDelete

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