Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Race Registered Around the Bay

Oldest Race on the Continent

This will be my first running race in my entire life EVAR!!
I suck at running. I dislike it very much.
I registered anyways.
This will be the canary in the coal mine. If I don't figure out this whole running thing in time for Around the Bay race, I at least have a few months to correct my training in time for Ironman Lake Placid.

Perfect 7

I missed one of my goals this weekend. I was hoping to have the indoor trainer and area setup in time for workouts this week. This did not happen. I would like to make it so that I can see the TV from the trainer so I can watch movies on the bigscreen. Last year I just had a computer monitor out in front of me and watched videos through the computer. It was an 'ok' setup but to be honest I didn't spend all that much time on the darn thing. The screen is too small and it was awkward trying to use a keyboard mouse from the bike. I need to come up with a better setup.

Last night's swim was plagued with suck. It started off with me squeezing between the big woman from previous posts and the miserable old hag that refuses to share a lane. When we're squeezing into 1/2 lane like that I get a sore neck from trying to look up straight ahead to make sure we're not going to collied. A few hundred meters of that can be annoying. What made matters worse was that the miserable old hag was doing flip turns improperly. She wouldn't shoot straight back, she just flipped and shot off into some random sideways direction. She didn't even look either, so a few times came close to a brutal head on collision near the wall. Ignorant.
Within 500m I was whooped. My neck was sore from looking ahead, and my arms were fatigued for the first time that early in a swim. I was tired from the previous day's mountain bike ride. I was getting sloppy and it was becoming increasingly annoying trying to avoid a collision. I took a short rest, which is unusal for me, and then continued. This time I made sure to cut it close to the old hag to assert my position in the lane. She just would not move over and stayed directly over the black line. Then it happened. A huge guy showed up and I could see where this was going. He squeezed in on the other side of the old hag and I choked when I swallowed water laughing because it was obvious what was going to happen next. He was a strong swimmer and pushed alot of water when he went by. The old hag wouldn't move over, but either would he. BAM. Collision mid pool. It was awesome. I'd swear he did it deliberately, but I dont blame him. She does not share. Period. I think she thinks she owns the lane because she came equipped with the building 30 years ago. I didn't hear if they exchange words but there was a brief pause mid lane where they tango'd. After that it just got worse for her. He was encroaching on her lane with obviousness practically steamrolled her. She finally got what was coming to her while being squished between the big guy and me. Not even 10 minutes later she packed up and left. If only she would share like everyone else. The rest of us can get along, just not her. With my kneck cramping from trying to hold my head up so I could watch the underwater theatrics and my arms feeling like wet noodles - I didn't stop. I continued and had a final peaceful 1000m in the comfort of my 1/2 lane without worrying about collision.
One day, we will have one too many people and succomb to properly swimming a rotation in a lane. None of this straight out and back crap. It's weird but I kind of like it now, albeit the head on collisions.

A beautiful fall mountain bike ride wrapped up a perfect week of training. Sunday's MTB ride did go a little longer than planned since I got lost in the network of trails. The ride was going so great that I didn't mind though.
I didn't miss a sinlge workout this week, I nailed all my distances and times for the 7 days and feel great! Fatigue is setting in, I worry I'll have to suck it up this week but I can rest assured knowing its the final one before a 'recovery week'.
It would have been more perfect had I got on the bike trainer during the week. I think I'll put that off until the next Set since I'm feeling so tired. I don't want to risk forcing early mornings so early in the JPO program and catch a cold or something.

Early mornings will suck. I need to ease into them. Mentally I think I'm prepared now though.

WEEK 6 TOTAL (Set 2, Week2 - Maintenance Mode)

Swim:  1:45hrs
Bike:   2:00hrs
Run: 3:20hrs
Strength: nil
Total: 7:00hrs

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Shields Failing

I may have used up all my limited willpower to reject the onlsaught of no-no's last night. 21day challenge is going to feel like 21 months at this rate. I don't think I can survive another attack. It was the niece's birthday party.

It started with the beer offer. It was an easy instant rejection, the offer just bounced off my shields. This is going to be easy, I thought. The beer offer's were relentless though. By the fourth offer I had convinced myself that since I was driving, it is best I do not. I stood my ground.

Then they brought out the big guns: Ohhh the cupcakes and icecream. I flinched. I didn't say no, I just sat there quietly as they handed out the plates of yummys to everyone. I figured if I pretend I'm not looking, they won't offer me up a plate and I will not have to dip into the willpower reserves to power the rejection. It didn't help that everyone at my table, was digging in. Heck, the little kid beside me scooped up some icecream and held his spoon out in my direction as if to offer some. Under normal circumstances I would have thought the string of goeey slober hanging off the edge of the spoon would be gross, but it actually looked tempting. I mean, if I just lashed out with my tongue and slurped up the icecream real quick, maybe nobody would notice. I could blame it on the kid, he stuck the spoon out in my mouth. Plausable deniabilty.
No, there were too many witnesses. This kid knew what he was doing. He had a look in his eyes like 'I am only offering this because I know you can not have some. na nanna na-na na!'. He is pure evil. I hate that kid.
Sure enough a plate got placed in front of me. I looked up to find it was Mrs LoTC that put it there! Are you serious? really? You know I can't eat this so why did you put it there. I hate you too!
I think she paid that kid to taunt me. It's a conspiracy. They're all out to get me!

At this point I was done. I was going to justify indulging on the next offer. I'll just start-over the 21 days, besides it has only been a few days. If I start over now, I only lost a few days!
Ohhhhh then they brought out pumpkin pie! That is my favourite pie in the world. I crave it sooo much. I may have found the answer as to why I like it so much - I read a research article the other day that said pumpkin pie increases blood flow to your wang by an AVERAGE 40%!! Wow, Mrs LoTC wants me to have some. I was waiting for her to bring me a slice.

To my dismay, they never even opened the box of pie. Disappointing.

The shields are down. I need to regenerate them somehow because the next no-no is going straight to mah belly. Periond. I. Just. Need. To. Survive. Until. Day. 5. - It gets easier? Right? ??

On the bright side, I put in a wicked awesome run today. It was cold and windy and looked like it was going to be freezing rain but I went out anyways. I've been eyeing this route for quiet some time but I know it is just a little bit too far for a novice runner such as me. I just thought I would walk as much as necessary and hold a long-slow-run pace and get through it. There was some mild sucking it up, but I countered the distance with a few small walks. Walking is good, cuz I suck at that too. I need to do more walks and get comfortable with it. 15km run complete! yay me! HIDE THE CANDY CANES!!%!!!  She put up the tree, it's not even december. Uggghh.


Friday, November 26, 2010


I knew something was a bit off, I just couldn't quite put my finger on it. Let's analyze the evidence shall we:

1) Mood swings: For no reasonn I've been snapping at people. I have been extra critical, especially of those of the female species. I've been completely irrational.

2) Coffee: Instead of drinking my coffee, I have subconciously been craving and drinking tea instead!?

3) Bad Driving: Normally I am a pretty safe driver, I yield the right of way. Lately I've been cutting people off and not even noticing. I just take the lane that is mine mine mine. I curb the rims on the sidewalks and lane change without looking.

4) Navigational Skills: I look at a map and can't read worth shit. After staring at the map for 5 minutes, refer back to #1. It's all chineese to me, usually I am great with directions. Not-so lately.

5) Moobs(Man-Boobs): Have increased in size. I thought it was from all the workouts but now I'm not so sure.

My Man-Purse Lunchbag
6) Man-Purse: I never did like my lunchbag. It too closely resembles a purse, except now I've been storing more than just sandwhiches in there. I have been including spoons, forks, knives, salad dressings, napkins, toilet paper, nail files, receipts dating back months, lipstick, femenin hygiene products, umbrellas, kitchen sinks.

Lately I've been getting dark bags under my eyes and feeling a bit 'off'. I don't know if I am just obsessing but I suspect it might be a lack-of-something, like Iron or Calcium or something. Anyhow, Mrs. LoTC has been slipping me vitamin pills for awhile now and they may or may not be helping. Last night after my run I went looking for the horse pills so I could pop one and let it absorb with the pizza dinner sitting in my stomach.
This is the bottle she has been taking them from. Here is what i found:

Mmmmmk. I may not be able to read a map no more, but I'm pretty sure I'm reading that label correctly and I now know the cause! Mrs. LoTC has been secretly maniuplating my body chemistry to turn me into a woman!! See evidence #1-6.

As much as I wonder what it is that makes these vitamins 'Woman specific' - I can't help but worry about my wiener and beans shrivelling up and falling off. This could be serious!!%%!#!

Oh and incase you were wondering, I took one anyways. Re: Irrational, refer to #1.

I added in some extra distance on last night's run. The extended loop brought me through some nice quiet neighbourhood roads. Reasonably well lit, but no sidewalk which I prefer to run on the road but worry about getting hit by a car (Re: #3). I am going to change up the route again as the majority of the 'usual backroads' are way to busy at this time of night. It's tough finding a route around here. It's too bad the trails are too dark to traverse.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Voices

That was among the shortest swims to date. I wasn't tired, I was comfortable in my own lane with nobody cutting me off, and I was seemingly enjoying myself. Out of nowhere I just stood up and said to myself 'I think I have just about had enough for one night'. Exit pool, enter Sauna.
Was that quitting? I don't know. I rationalize it by acknowledging the excessive distances I have been doing in the pool lately. 3000m+ is a little much for maintenance lol. I tell myself there is nothing wrong with only 2300m but there was that abrupt stoppage that came out of nowhere. I didn't even fight it. I just went with the flow which happened to be in the direction exiting the pool.
Today I wonder if I am begining to burn out a little. I know this is only maintenance mode, but it's still more training than I did leading up to Muskoka Half-Ironman. I did more mountain biking than anything. So perhaps the 'romance' with training for an Ironman is beginning to rub off?

It was just one night, so why am I obsessing? Gees! Get over yourself John! :)

I'm trying to ease into this, which means slacking on the bike a little while I adjust to the new routine. I'm throwing a wrench into routine next week when I incorporate early mornings for bike. The nagging bike voice is fighting with the nagging run voice in the back of my head telling me I need to do more more more. Yes, I know - I'm only mildly insane. I think. Yes I am. No I am not. Maybe I am. - wait - who said that?!

I think it'll help if I put it on paper. I need to forumulate a more conrete gameplan leading up to the start of full-on training. Ok, I'm done talking with myself now. I think.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


It has been a craving in the making for almost two months now. Tuesday night is the special night except I never seem to think about it on the right day. Mrs. LoTC has been a good little wife lately, and it has been awhile since I took her on a date so why not combine the two occassions!
I sampled the wings at the local pub awhile ago and have been looking forward to going back ever since. I thought this was going to be super-awesome except I did not forsee the inevitable.

The evening started with a quick run but I'll get to that later. She got herself pretty'd up for me and I even went out of my way to pluck 'teh UniBrow'(tm) for our date. Yup, I'm a special sumthin' alright!
Evidence of an Extinct Species
At the pub the ceasars we ordered sucked. Not spicey, I question if they even had alchohol and you couldn't lick the rim off the glass because it was rock-hard baked on or something. Disappointing, but the wings will make up for it! Or so I thought. Once the wings arrived I could tell they weren't the same as last time. We had to ask for extra hot sauce since it looked like there was barely anything on them. They were the right price though! So I ate and ate and ate and ate. We had a side order of fuckatchoo(?) bread that had goat cheese and an inch thick of green stuff and soaked in greasy oil slick. It was tastey but clearly even more unhealthy than the wings.

Barfus Maximus

When I finally couldn't eat no more I looked up at the carnage and the first thing I thought was 'Oh No, what have I done?!". To give in and indulge is not a bad thing from time to time. In this case I didn't just indulge - I approached the trough and shoved my bigass snout into the grub and went to town. I could see countless bones piled a mile high and I felt guilty that I was probably single-handedly responsible for the excinction of entire species. I could already feel the meat sweats coming on, reinforced by the gallon of hot wing sauce. The worse part was the feeling like I just drank the oil out straight out of a deep fryer. I haven't been eating anything deep fried in ages, and I could tell that my body was no longer used to eating like this. Mrs. LoTC felt much the same. The college kids drinking pints across from us at the other table looked over at us two athletes dry heaving at the table like we were ready to vomit a flock of poultry onto the table. We were a sight for sore eyes. Oh and if that is not bad enough, they were playing the Ironman Canada broadcast on the TV so that just added to the guilt. I can still feel my body processing the oil in my stomach and it has been over 12hrs!

So that brings me to the consequences of my actions. 21 day challenge. Training Payne came up with his 21 day - No beer, no Junk food challenge and I intend to kind of sort of get in on this.
I need to clarify a few ummm exceptions to the rules:
1) I reserve the right to snack, but I will snack healthy!
2) I hereby declare pizza as a healthy meal, I dont care what you say as this is non-negotiable.
3) I reserve 2 days of exception. My xmas party, I will have one beer. At Mrs. LoTC xmas party I will drink and probably stop short of alchohol poisoning. I hope. This is by design since it's likely I'll be sitting between a Newfie and a Redneck and will succomb to peer pressure. Yes, I just called you rednecks Jenn lol :)

On the bright side, the run we had early in the evening was the best run all year long! I may have sabatoged all my running progress at the dinner table but regardless I have only ever ran this fast once before. I was holding a sub 5 minute/km pace which is lightning fast for my phatass. I swear my legs were possessed! It felt great! My shin splints were only mild, and the morning after I'd rate them at a barely 1/10 on the pain scale. I think the shorter strides are making a huge difference, not just in speed but in comfort too.

Now if I could only get through this morning without barfing up last night's wings, I'll be happy. They better process in time for tonight's swim. This may not end well for me.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Blurry Silence

I wonder if I'm going deaf and blind? I sure gave it some thought after last night's swim. I took my swim mask off and everything is a washed out white and blurry. My eyes were red and bloodshot as always. It felt like I had my eyes open underwater in a chlorinated pool but I had my mask on the whole time. When looking at lights they all gave off pretty rainbow rings and things were fuzzy. Perhaps it's because of my mask? It sucks against my face pretty good, it sometimes leaves light-bruising or popped blood vessels behind. The strap is not tight, but the mask does have a good suction action.

How I envision my indoor trainer

My wife showed me how to get water out of my ears by jumping up and down on one foot. It works like a charm, for the most part. Last night I had an ocean between my ears and they just would not drain. For some reason I feel water logged and sleep like a baby when I have water in my ears.

This all got me wondering if too much pool time can be hazardous for the health. I was only in the pool for an hour and got 3300m continuous non-stop freestyle in. I dunno.

There is a nagging voice in the back of my head that wants me to get on the bike more. I can only ride outdoors on weekends so this means setting up the indoor trainer. I've been dreading this but the time has come. I think I'll setup my indoor training space this weekend. I have been off the bike waaaay too long. I was going to wait until mid-December but after feeling weak on the bike last weekend, I need to do something about it.

Monday, November 22, 2010

BigScreen BashRing

I hate my phone. Camera so dark.
It feels like a month since my last post, so that's probably a good indication of how my weekend went. :)
Friday evening was full of excitement as we made a final decision and picked up a new TV. I've been holding out for 60" plasma but after seeing the quality of the picture we figured it was best to go with a slightly smaller screen but at the highest end model and picture you can get. Even at 54" it looks kind of small in our room but I don't think the 60" would have fixed that either. I won't go projector, it wouldn't look right with the lighting. So needless to say, it was a late night enjoying the new toy. I don't remember the last time I stayed up that late watching movies.
I got SUPER excited when I found that you can to You-Tube directly from the television. I got to watch all the Ironman Triathlon Motivation videos in bigscreen. A few searches later I somehow wound up at watching Prank Wars videos and LOLCats. You-Tube has that side-tracking power doesn't it? lol. Oh and incase that's not geek enough, you can do Twitter right from the TV too. As well as pull weather info on demand without having to use computer or weather channel. To finish the Nerdiness I made sure my freshly built Media Center PC got hooked to it too. Everything works like a charm!

Saturday morning was a slow go. You can't just get a new TV by itself you know, you have to have a new stand too. So we spent the entire day looking for a stand. Entire day. The whole thing. It was dark by the time we found one. At least we found one, and it is perfect. Mostly. I think. Nevermind, I'm not looking any further so it's perfect as far as I am concerned! :)
Yes, I missed my long run on Saturday. My intention was to make up for it on Sunday!

Finally installed.

I've been looking forward to this Sunday ride for ages. I was meeting up with some MTB groups to hit some technical trail together at Hilton. It started off cold in the parking lot but we warmed up quickly. The one group showed up with typical cross-country riding gear. Nothing out of the norm. The ride leaders, from the other group, showed up with full face helmets, shin pads, knee pads, elbow pads - full body armor. This does not look good for the casual weekend warriors. There were some nervous looking riders in the group lol. I know these trails and they have every right to be nervous, and then some. Heck, I FINALLY installed my rock-ring specifically for this ride. I expected to bash a few rocks as this was going to be a hardcore ride. :)
To my surprise, this combination of riding groups moved at a decent pace. It was not without it's regular bottlenecks but considering there was almost 20+ people it went swell. I stuck around for 3 hours, just a little longer than half of them. I wanted to complete the last hour but I blew my rear suspension. That, or it deflated. I haven't looked yet, I'm afraid too. This could be an extremely expensive repair. Borderline new bike/frame given the complexity of the shock. Either way,  admittedly I wasn't sad to go. I was spent. Physically I was getting sloppy, I needed to eat lunch and was making dumb mistakes. I'm surprised nobody got injured. Overall , a great fall ride!

Given that the ride was much longer than expected,  and much tougher, I decided to not run. I was so tired that I sat in front of the TV for the rest of the day and didn't move. While I got the workout of a standard bike + run combined, I still missed out on the important run-specific muscle/joint training. I know that no amount of mountain biking can replace the specific training required for running, I learned that last year, so I am feeling guilty.
I'll make up for my run wussy-ness this week though. This 'off-season' is supposed to be more run than bike. I suck at running and need to toughen up!

Edit: oops I forgot to add the weekly totals

WEEK 5 TOTALS (Set 2, Wk 1 - Maintenance Mode)

Swim:  2hrs
Bike:   3hrs
Run:    1.25hrs
Strength: nil
Total:     6.5hrs

Friday, November 19, 2010

Up Down

Last night went later than I would have liked, but I'm proud to say at least it went!

After work I went to a supplier's new office for drinks and had a great time. By the time I came home and ate dinner it was getting late. I overate, of course it was pizza! How could I not indulge?? So while the 252523 slices digested in the belly I got an episode of Stargate Universe in. One episode turned into two, which turned into three, which - well you get the picture. In my vegetative state I let bed time creep up on me while I pretended not to see the clock viciously staring me down.
I was so proud of myself a couple nights ago. I sucked it up. I ran in the rain. I am HardK0re. Right?
I wasn't about to let that big win be all for nothing. I rolled my phat ass off the couch and threw on whatever running clothes I could find, clean or not, and was out the door in the blink of an eye! Wow, I'm really doing this, I thought. It was actually nice out, just warm enough to not freeze the boogers in your nose. I stuck to a new route I've been eyeing. Well lit streets along back roads that have bus routes through the residential area. I concentrated on form, this time short quick steps, and my shin splints barely bothered me.
I did it. Yeh, you can picture me patting myself on the back right now. I win!
So today the rest day has been well earned. A perfect week so far and I'm actually looking forward to round it off with a perfect weekend plan.

Unfortunately the great evening was followed up by an equal and opposite lousy day at the office. Looking on the bright side though, it is Friday and a Rest day! W00t!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Lord of the Mermaids

Sometimes I think I can. I am just on edge, about to try but then I figure I don't want to make a fool of myself incase I vomit in the middle of the pool. Either way, I'm tempted to try to breath underwater. I swear I used to be a fish in a past life so maybe I have hidden gills somewhere? My swimming last night was impeccable!

The evening started off with a struggle. Our Media Center PC died in a power outage. I finished off the rebuild and we cuddled on the couch to watch Walking Dead. This new machine meant we can finally stream HDTV off the home network, and with the video card upgrades it was beautiful to watch! When the time came to get out the door to the pool - neither of us budged. The couch was warm, the TV looked so good and there is a backlog of Stargate Universe episodes calling my name. She wasn't moving. I begged and pleaded with her and although she promised me, back on Monday, she would come swimming tonight - she just wouldn't get off the couch! It would be easier if she got up, because then I would be cold and lonely and have no choice but to hit the pool. Instead I just layed there with the 'old ball and chain'.
I'd Tap That.
Oops, did I say that out loud?
Eventually I managed to hack my way free from the chain and made a run for it. Heck she even got up to get me a towel so I figure there was something on TV she wanted to watch and just didn't want me around. Ok fine. I get it. I can take a hint. I'll just goto the pool all by my lonesome. You'll be sorry if Chrissy Wellington is at the pool tonight, you wish you would have been there to stop me drooling over her her.

Well luckily for my sake, Chrissy wasn't at my pool. I can dream can't I? Although tonight there was a few Ironman Muskoka competitors, I could tell from the swim caps. They helped motivate me to concentrate on technique and keep my speed up. I had to try to look the part at least. :)  It felt great! I was looking forward to chatting with them at the end of my workout but they had all left before I was done. This happens alot, I just cannot justify getting off the couch for anything less than a 2000m swim. 40 minutes is hardly a workout.

On a side note, as I predicted, Training Payne couldn't stay away from blogging. He had started a community blog so that the TP Cult followers could continue on in his absence. The posts are made by anonymous in the 'essence' of TP and the first few posts have been nothing short of humourous. You can read it here, I just contributed my first post to the blog.
Just the same, in his absence, I tried to find his replacement but after reading what seems like a million blogs - they all suck compared to his. I have no doubt that mine ranks among the suck, so I'm glad he has more or less returned! I am following alot more people now, so if you want to save yourself the hassle of reading alot of suck - you can just click on the filtered links I've collected on the left. Those are the decent ones. I'm always open to suggested blogs if you have a favourite you would like to share!
Oh and I also added a 'rating' to the bottom of my blogs. There is also an automated 'related posts' gadget too, except it will take awhile for it to start giving better suggestions as it has to 'crawl' my posts first. I'll give it a week and kill it off if it doesn't improve by then.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Water Logged

Intermittent Mode

Dark. Cold. Windy. Rain. Yeh, that sounds like a great night to run - NOT. On the way home I came up with a measurement standard for deciding on whether to run or not. When I'm on the highway heading home and my intermittent wipers are on 'low frequency' then I can run just fine. Probably without the rain jacket since the only reason the wipers need to be on is because I'm going 100Km/h. If I have to turn the wipers onto intermittent-but-high-frequency, then I can still run with a rain jacket and be prepared to cut the distance a little bit short. Now if the wipers have to be Full-ON with no intermittent pauses, then I'm not running outdoors that night!
Sure enough it was a intermittent-High night and I donned my rain jacket and out I went. I was surprisingly warm, probably because the jacket does not breath. By the time I was 30 minutes in though, I was starting to soak through all my clothing. The rain turned into a Full-ON mode and I cut the loop and headed home.

Post Run - Yah I WIN!
For my first 'rain run' of the program - I am proud to say I actually made it out the door! I didn't want to ruin my new shoes so I dug my old ones out of the closet. They were still crusty and muddy from the Off-Road Triathlon I did back in the summer. I guess I didn't wash them since I had bought new shoes the same week. Ooops. My feet barely fit in them with two layers of socks. That or my feet are getting fat? It was a really tight fit. I didn't even have to 'zip-up' the speed laces lol.

Garmin data will have to wait - they are doing maintenance on the servers STILL. Besides, the GPS took forever to get a lock so I had to manually adjust the time/distance. I'm not standing in the rain waiting for it to find the satellites! ~30Min, 5Km cut short due to heavy rain

Pre Run - This is gonna suck!


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Round 2 - Fight!

So, with the first set of training weeks behind me, what have I learned?
Well I break my training up in weeks of four. The fourth week being a 'recovery week'. The objective of this first set is simply to get comfortable with the routine. It had nothing to do with the quality of workouts, just simply the fact I was doing the workouts. Period.
Week one was perfect, I was excited to get back into it. By week two I lost a bit of motivation and working late throws a wrench into the mix. I did manage to double up one day and make up for all but one of the workouts.
Recovery Week FAIL
Week three was the toughest yet most successful since I knew I had a recovery week coming up, I pushed a bit harder and had a bit more motivation to do well. I am very happy with week three! I think the third week of each set will be my favourite!
Recovery week four? Yeh that was fail. I completely missed the majority of workouts due to late nights at the office. I justified it as 'it is only a recovery week' but that doesn't help when the point of this was to get used to the routine. I suck!
So here I am at the beginning of the second set of the program. The next 4 weeks will remain in maintenance mode, again just getting accustomed to routinely getting my training in. I've been missing out on my cycling, but I'm not too worried about that yet. I have plenty of time to squeeze that in at the beginning of the day - but I think I'll wait until December to start factoring those workouts in. I need to adjust to the training load I have now, before I go throwing in early mornings too! I struggle with the early mornings!

To kick it off - I swam some extra last night, just because. With so much non-active recovery last week(politically correct term for laziness?), I was surprised to find myself faitgued 2/3 of the way through the workout. I really had to push through the final bit. I think too much rest has taken its toll on me?

SET 1 TOTAL (4 WEEKS), Maintenance Mode

20 Activities at 161Km in 20.5hrs
Swim Set: 5.5hrs
Bike Set: 6.25hrs (MTB)
Run Set: 7.25hrs
Strength: 1:00hrs

Sunday, November 14, 2010

NFL Madness

This day only comes around once every Five years. I usually forget about the experience and get excited about going, only to find that I end up reminding myself of how much I do not enjoy going to watch a football game. That is, until I went to a REAL football game. I've only been to CFL games until now.
A supplier offered up tickets, bus and booze to coerce us out on a 'business' trip so how can I turn that down? My initial reaction was 'hell no' as I already did a football game earlier this year. This was a chance to see the real deal, an NFL game though! Admittedly I had high hopes, and I certainly was not disappointed.
Upon arriving, I was blown away by the sheer number of people! It was mind boggling the number of vehicles and busses and barbeques and beer and oh-my-gawd-is-that-chick-nekkid!?!? O.M.G. I've never seen a bigger party in my life. I didn't understand 'tailgate party' until just now, boy did I feel dumb. 70,000+ people and that is no exaggeration. I'd swear it was more.
Right there in the parking lot everyone fired up barbeques and we ate like kings. Bottomless coolers of beer were supplied for the pre-game festivities. I was tempted to drink, however I blamed my non-alcoholic thirst on my sad state of 'training' over the past week. That, and the fact they were only serving donkey piss for beer (Coors light). They didn't have any non-donkey-piss to drink so I had to go without. That was a little annoying but I'll be damned if I'm the one to speak up and ask where the water is. I was afraid that they'd pull a 'coyote ugly' on me.
Once at the game it was nothing short of intense. Everyone around us was absolutely piss drink. Not just a light buzz, but full on plastered. It was awesome, we had alot of fun with the local americans with Canadian jokes. We learned a new language too: Beer. Apparently some of the people around you become overly obnoxious and speak in a tongue you will not understand. Even though I didn't speak beer, we all just smile and nodded and laughed on queue. There was a surprising number of police at every entrance. Literally, every 7 minutes they were arresting and kicking people out. Fights, vomitting and drunken stupidity was rampant but funny to watch. Nobody got violent in our area, we had a fun crowd!
I think the thing that stood out from most - the woman. There was a disproportionate female:male ratio which is unheard of at football games at home. Surprisingly - they were all hot. Heck, I didn't even have beer goggles on and they were all good looking. The place was crawling with them. Here we are, a bunch of geeks and we got approached several times by great looking woman that were striking up conversation and being exceptionally friendly. If I didn't know better, I'd say they were woefully intoxicated and had there beer goggles on. Oh wait a minute..... damn. I do know better. Nonetheless, it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like - anyone can get laid at a Buffalo Bills game. Anyone. Although you may  first need to lower your standards a bit as none of them are sober.
So anyhow, the game was long and cold but the crowd made it fun. The game was decided in the very last play which was exciting, and the Bills even won their first game in something like 15 games? The drive home was horrific. It sucks being one of the only sober people on a bus after a footbal game. Makes for an extremely long, loud, annoying ride home. I should have had a couple lol.

Training? Hah. What a suck week for training. It was a scheduled 'rest' week but instead of sticking to the routine and easing up on the intensity of the workouts - I inadvertantly opted to miss just about every single workout. I've worked late a few nights so I may need to learn to get out of bed in the morning instead. Ugghhh.. I was hoping to wait until the New Year for that.

WEEKLY TOTAL - Week 4 - Rest Week

Total: 2:14hrs     - damn, I won't even bother breaking that down into disciplines, it's shameful. FAIL. lol

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I'm cheating.

The Mistress.
Sooooooo one of the original objectives of my Ironman journey was my intention to do it "on a budget". That meant your typical run of the mill running shoes, no wetsuit and I was going to use the 'old' road bike I already had.
On my way to pickup the lady
Well, the water was too cold and I gave in and bought a wetsuit. I prefer no wetsuit, I may not wear one at IMLP but nonetheless I bought one for for these frigid Canadian waters.

Running shoes. Well I didn't need fancy running shoes because, well, I wasn't doing any running. When I finally started to 'train' on my feet, I quickly appreciated a pair of shoes. So I gave in and bought a pair.

The bike, well it worked just fine at Muskoka. No need for a Tri-bike at Muskoka with all those hills. However, after taking @BrianBourne 's tri bike for  a spin - I was convinced that I needed one. So fast, so light, so sexy, so much peer pressure, such great marketing tactics - OK - I want one!

So much for those initial objectives.

I picked up the new love of my life yesterday.A good sponge bath just before watching Ironman Canada on the TV and we were ready for a ride today.

She immediately jumped in the backseat - what class!

This is my first crotch cannon. I've only ever mounted a Tri-bike for all of 10 minutes on Brian's bike and that was it. I was happy to find, it handles like a charm! It's not sketchy in the aero bars, I felt perfectly comfortable as if I have been doing this for years.

I got out on the open road and got comfortable in the aero position, turned a steady rythm on the pedals. That's when I heard it. I could hear a noise coming from the bike. I coasted for a moment and the noise got louder and the bike shuddered beneath me! A quick couple of pedal strokes to force it into a stable straight line again and the noise dissapaited a little.
Now I could hear it, I knew what it was saying:

"Ride harder you pussy!", said the bike.
I didn't want to disappoint so I got up on the taint and reefed on the pedals - it felt and sounded like a jet engine was spooling up! The beast gradually picked up speed and once out of the hole we sailed along on a plain with minimal effort. I screamed across the country side with mah hair on fyre!
The bike was happy, it only wanted to be treated like it should. I recall reading a review on this bike and it all made sense,
"...when Kuota called and said "you have to ride the Kalibur!" what my ears chose to hear was "you have to stick yourself at lactate threshold and stay there till your liver comes out your ass...."
No time for lolly gaggin' about with this one, she likes it rough.

Well if it's good enough for him, I'm pretty sure it is good enough for me. I have no excuse to be slow now, other than I got a fat ass :)

Some picks from the test flight:

Check out them curves on the stays


You just can't take Fran anywhere... she got pretty excited and started humping my mistress..... So I worked the camera.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Tag I am It?

Times are tough. Reading material is sparse and the overal quality of entertainment is at an all time low. The tri-world has succombed to spreading some kind of questionnaire to help stem the cold-weather blues. I think it's meant to spark new insight into the personal side of each other's blogs, rather than the day-in day-out training regiments that we copy and paste from each other. Someone thought it would be wise to 'tag' me to join in on this personal audit of one another. She must really hate me....  or my wife paid her off. Wait a second here....... ..... !

If you could eat anything without any health repercussions or guilt, what would your meal be?
Lava. I mean, doesn't it look so yummy? It slowly flows over the landscape like it might have a nice goey texture to it. It has a crusty coating that probably has a burnt toast taste to it which I love.  I like spicy hot things, so it probably has a bite to it too! It would probably stick to my teeth though, and I dont like stuff that sticks to my teeth. Luckily, the question states 'no health repercussions'. Phew.

Super Hardk0re Chick!

If you could meet anyone living or dead who would it be and why?

Pffft, that's an easy one - MY WIFE. She's the greatest person to ever walk this earth. The most loving, caring, thoughtful individual you will ever meet. She has a gift that makes her very special - she is instantly loved by anyone that meets her. I love that about her. She see's the good in everyone and brings that good out of them. Plus, she's one sexy peice of hot athletic ass.
Did I mention she puts up with me? Yeh - no easy feat in itself, and I'm lucky to be HER man.

Why did you start blogging and what did you expect when you started?
Training Payne inspired me to start my own blog. I liked seeing him chronicle his journey to Kona and wanted something to look back on for myself. When I WIN Kona, this might be worth money some day right? lol. It also helps keep me honest. I can be held accountable through the eyes of my readers (the both of them!) and that motivates me to get out and train. What did I expect? To be honest, I figured a week or two and I would quit writing posts. It's time consuming, cumbersome and nobody reads my blog so why bother? To my surprise, I got one really great follower that helped me keep at it - Mrs. LoTC! And then by week two I got my first official follower and I haven't quit - yet!

What is the one book you could read over and over again?

Give me any technology white paper any day and I'll be fluent in it in no time flat. I dont do make-believe reading(novels). I like cold hard facts, technical specs, concepts, science. I don't do paper either, give it to me digital. I appreciate that I have an incredible talent for speed reading. More importantly, I remember a great deal of what I read. This makes me a very fast learner, which is why I would enjoy learning something new rather than read a love story or poem. It's likely I have a finite amount of memory so I don't want to go filling it with 'nonsense'. One thing I have learned in all that reading - there is no substitute for experience. Book smart must be backed up by real life experience.

If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?

Travel usually equates to vacation which is probably the real question here. I don't care where I go, just so long as my wife is with me. I do not care for going south to a beach. My idea of a perfect vacation is minimalist backcountry backpacking in near survival mode in the roughest conditions imaginable. I want to come back from any vacation and feel like I just completed an Ironman. Travel, vacation? It's not just a physical destination that you goto - it's a state of mind and body that you can get right here, right now. No need to pack your bags.

If you could have a TV show on the Food Network, what would it be?
I don't watch TV and I especially deteste the TV networks, recording and publishing industry. If I were to have a TV show - it would be called 'Recipe for dismantling the Intellecual Property Monopoly'. Food for the mind - free our culture, freely share our ideas without these artificial restrictions on human nature. Food Network? Nah, I think we'll call it The Pirate Network instead.

What was the best meal you ever had?

The one after a hardcore expedition in Algonquin. The one after a 200Mile road ride. The one after a half-Ironman. Does it matter what is was? No - it was the fact I appreciated every last detail from warm socks on my feet, to having just had a warm shower earlier to right down to having ice cubes in my drink and a beautiful woman to share it with. We take too much for granted.

Who has been the greatest influence on your love for food and learning to cook?
I can't cook. If there is one life skill I have failed at - it is cooking. I don't have the 'cooking' gene, nor do I have the interest. I can prepare an edible meal if I have to, but that is all it is - edible. In the meantime, I order more pizza than you could possibly believe so I won't bother explaining just how much pizza that is. :)  I'll leave the meal making to Mrs. LoTC.  Yes you read that right - she does the cooking. We all have a role to play, and I'm more of a hunter gatherer type. I'll leave the food preparation for someone more skilled lol. The kids thank me for it. :)

I was also tagged for another meme and I think I am supposed to include this pic but I'm not postive

Here are the rules

1) Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to their blog...

2) Share 7 things about yourself

3) Pass the award to other bloggers

So here goes the '7 random things' about myself......

1) I dislike the cold very much - I hibernate in the winter. I guess this will have to change...
2) I love a challenge of any kind. I also invite the competition.
3) I am the best at everything I do. I never lose. Ever. There is nothing in this world I can't do with a little time and hard work.
4) I didn't know I was 'polish' until grade 6 when a teacher wouldn't accept the answer 'Canadian' when she asked 'What was I?'. I had to go home and ask my parents because the teacher was so mad at me.
5) I love pizza. I would eat it every day if she let me.
6)  I graduated college with Dean's honours. I wanted to differentiate myself from everyone else that was getting the same peice of paper.
7) I wouldn't be where I am today without the support of my loving wife and awesome kids. We make a great team - I love them very much!

 Pass the award to other bloggers

Uhhh I think the both of my readers have already done it.... so I'll nominate a couple in the odd chance they read this

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Sometimes I wonder if my last name was abbreviated. I've been humming and hawing over bikes for the past few weeks. I had come across a great deal, and as a bonus it was local! I didn't act on it though, I've just kept looking. The more I look, the more I realize I should have jumped on it. It's slightly higher than what I would like to pay, but because it is local and I don't have to go through the hassle of shipping - it would almost work out close to my budget. I'm hoping it is not already sold, I am waiting to hear back from the seller. I think the crap wheels made me hesitate.

Being a 'recovery' week I opted to mount an eliptical at the gym last night instead of going for a run. I figured it would be a good chance to give the joints a rest and let the shin splint heal. I didn't bring headphones again, but I don't think it would have helped. It was torture. There was nothing worthwhile to keep the mind occupied, and it was very difficult to 'get in the zone' with so many distractions. And I'm not talking about the 'well qualified' distractions, there would be none of that at this gym. Instead I was surrounded by the regular crowd. There was 'the grunter' to my left who makes loud strange noises anyone walked by as if to advertise he's just so hardcore. There was the birds who got more exercise walking from one peice of equipment to another than actually using the thing. I don't think they spend anymore than 2 minutes on a device before switching. What's the point, they dont even break a sweat. Typically you see them chatting with each other more than anything. At least there jaw muscles get a workout. Of course, directly in front of me was the severely obese woman that was walking the treadmill on snail mode. Great to see her out, but again no sweat. Why do I care? I don't really, but when the mind gets distracted like that I can't help but observe. I had to watch the other people because the choice of TV pictures, again no audio but not that it would have mattered, was a propaganda news station or a sports channel. I don't watch sports and I can't be bothered to infect my mind with nonsense.

/Rant On

The Biggest Loser? Are the people who watch it.
The third TV was a charm - human torture. What is it about watching someone suffer immensely, inhumanely, that turns people onto this crap? The Biggest Loser makes Jerry Springer look like a saint. Beating these morbidly obese people into submission is not doing anyone a favour. I can't believe that it is healthy to lose weight in the manner portrayed on this show. Even when they lose the weight, I doubt they can keep it off. The problem is the lifestyle and mental weakness of those individuals. It's not sustainable. You can chisel weight off them but at what cost? If the show was about helping people, then maybe it would be ok - but this is not help. Heck, to 'qualify' to get on the show they had contestants do step aerobics until they collapsed. The one woman needed medical attention when she passed out. That was JUST to get ON the show - so because she didn't complete the task, she didnt get on the show. If anything, they should give a spot to the loser of said event because she obviously needed the opportunity more than the ones who completeded the task successfuly (barely alive might I add). Again, the show is not about helping anyone... it's just armchair athletes taking joy from watching obese people get tortured. Disgusting really. As far as the woman that didn't make it on the show - she was devastated. As if she can't eat and exercise on her own time? I don't get it.
My plan is to finish an Ironman, get the tatto and then get fat and old. One day, maybe I'll be on one of those shows. I'll have the tattoo though, so that earns me the right to get fat again? :)

/Rant Off

Everyone has an opinion, so if you love the show I'd love to hear about what it is I am missing. You don't have to agree or disagree, but certainly my rants enjoy sparking a good debate.


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