Is it too soon to be having anxiety attacks? Just reading the Athlete's Guide is enough to make it all too real! I can't believe they wait to publish the guide until the last minute like this, I would expect better from such an event. Not much changed from the previous year, but still!
I hate the waiting. If I had it my way I would start the race right this very moment in the clothes I'm wearing on whatever bike I could get my hands on. I hate the waiting.
I wouldn't call it impatience, more like Intolerant. I don't like being anxious over something, I don't enjoy the feeling of anxiety so when I'm under stress like this I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Unfortunately in this case, they probably won't up the start date for me so I will just have to endure. There is no sense trying to ignore it so Instead I am embracing the feeling and engulfing myself in the moment. I'm watching alot of Ironman videos and preparing myself mentally for the task at hand. The more ready I feel, the more comfortable I will become. I could also use a shot of confidence booster. I'm still licking my wounds after the shock of the pre-ride. It wasn't supposed to be hard - going into it I was going to crush that bike course, but now I'm just looking to survive. Oh there is no doubt I will finish, at any cost, I'm not worried about that. Instead I am slowly coming to accept that there can not be any pre-conceived notions of my finishing time. I have to remove this pressure to 'do well' and concenrate on 'just doing'. Somehow along my journey I lost my 'Just Finishing' goal and replaced it with silly Time Expectations. For my first Ironman I want to enjoy the experience and ignore the numbers. All that matters is under 17hrs. Let's just finish this one.
|My First Half-Iron 2010|
I think I'll reserve those time goals and added pressures for my Second Full-Ironman in Mt Tremblant 2012. In the meantime, the pressure of the virginity is enough to bare as is. No friendly competition with buddies, no clocks to watch. Just me and the voices in my head matter on this one. No Pressures.