I wrote this earlier in the week... I'm feeling a bit better but instead of just deleting it I figure I'll post the bit I got now as it is important to me to chronicle the journey and this was just part of the journey. Even if I never did finish writing the entire post.
So here we are. Race Week is finally upon us.
I wish circumstances of this week were different, but I'll cope with whatever comes my way and get to that finish line no matter what. I'm still sick and it's messing with my energy levels. I'm too tired to be nervous, too tired to be excited. I'm just feeling blah about this whole thing. At this point, I dont care if I can't breathe out my nose or if I cough up a lung, I'm showing up to that starting line no matter what and getting it done. I am still hoping to beat this sinus/chest infection by race day.
I'm getting lots of rest but I can feel the body stiffening up at the same time. I'm not worried. I'm too tired to be worried. It is what it is.
I've watched my entire collection of Ironman DVD's and motivation videos to try to stoke that inner fire. It only kind of worked, again my energy levels are blah.
I've wondered for quite some time what my pre-race post would look like. I imagined it to be something more like an inspring reflection on an excellent execution of my training plan. That post will have to wait, my headache has returned and I got the Niagara Falls pouring out my nose.
I am happy where I am at. I wouldn't change a thing from the past 40 weeks. I executed an honest training plan, putting in the highest quality of workouts. My training plan started much further out than most other plans that athletes follow.
Coming from a non-running background I needed the extra training time to build. That meant never missing a workout even though it snowed every frickin' weekend for the longest winter in memory. The frostbite, the slushy rain run, the snow storms, the darkness - all vindicated in the spring when I met even my most lofty of goals at my first running race ever: Around The Bay 30Km road race. That was the day I graduated to being 'a runner'. It took some time for me to understand that I had spent so much time and effort improving my run that it may have even overtaken my swim and bike abilities. That's a huge accomplishment for me, given that I dislike running. I have learned to 'enjoy' running but that doesn't mean that I 'like' it. It's kind of hard to explain. I do it because I have to.
I've come a looooong way in 40 weeks.
I wish I had more to say but can barely keep my eyes open. I am happy to have such a loving supporting wife to make this week bareable. She is trying very hard to keep me happy and get me healthy. I could not do this without her. I owe her everything.
So other than loosening up this week, there is not much left to be said. I will finish this. No matter what.