Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Genocide

It has been a craving in the making for almost two months now. Tuesday night is the special night except I never seem to think about it on the right day. Mrs. LoTC has been a good little wife lately, and it has been awhile since I took her on a date so why not combine the two occassions!
CHEAP WING NIGHT! yay!
I sampled the wings at the local pub awhile ago and have been looking forward to going back ever since. I thought this was going to be super-awesome except I did not forsee the inevitable.

The evening started with a quick run but I'll get to that later. She got herself pretty'd up for me and I even went out of my way to pluck 'teh UniBrow'(tm) for our date. Yup, I'm a special sumthin' alright!
Evidence of an Extinct Species
At the pub the ceasars we ordered sucked. Not spicey, I question if they even had alchohol and you couldn't lick the rim off the glass because it was rock-hard baked on or something. Disappointing, but the wings will make up for it! Or so I thought. Once the wings arrived I could tell they weren't the same as last time. We had to ask for extra hot sauce since it looked like there was barely anything on them. They were the right price though! So I ate and ate and ate and ate. We had a side order of fuckatchoo(?) bread that had goat cheese and an inch thick of green stuff and soaked in greasy oil slick. It was tastey but clearly even more unhealthy than the wings.

Barfus Maximus

When I finally couldn't eat no more I looked up at the carnage and the first thing I thought was 'Oh No, what have I done?!". To give in and indulge is not a bad thing from time to time. In this case I didn't just indulge - I approached the trough and shoved my bigass snout into the grub and went to town. I could see countless bones piled a mile high and I felt guilty that I was probably single-handedly responsible for the excinction of entire species. I could already feel the meat sweats coming on, reinforced by the gallon of hot wing sauce. The worse part was the feeling like I just drank the oil out straight out of a deep fryer. I haven't been eating anything deep fried in ages, and I could tell that my body was no longer used to eating like this. Mrs. LoTC felt much the same. The college kids drinking pints across from us at the other table looked over at us two athletes dry heaving at the table like we were ready to vomit a flock of poultry onto the table. We were a sight for sore eyes. Oh and if that is not bad enough, they were playing the Ironman Canada broadcast on the TV so that just added to the guilt. I can still feel my body processing the oil in my stomach and it has been over 12hrs!

So that brings me to the consequences of my actions. 21 day challenge. Training Payne came up with his 21 day - No beer, no Junk food challenge and I intend to kind of sort of get in on this.
I need to clarify a few ummm exceptions to the rules:
1) I reserve the right to snack, but I will snack healthy!
2) I hereby declare pizza as a healthy meal, I dont care what you say as this is non-negotiable.
3) I reserve 2 days of exception. My xmas party, I will have one beer. At Mrs. LoTC xmas party I will drink and probably stop short of alchohol poisoning. I hope. This is by design since it's likely I'll be sitting between a Newfie and a Redneck and will succomb to peer pressure. Yes, I just called you rednecks Jenn lol :)
Dessert

On the bright side, the run we had early in the evening was the best run all year long! I may have sabatoged all my running progress at the dinner table but regardless I have only ever ran this fast once before. I was holding a sub 5 minute/km pace which is lightning fast for my phatass. I swear my legs were possessed! It felt great! My shin splints were only mild, and the morning after I'd rate them at a barely 1/10 on the pain scale. I think the shorter strides are making a huge difference, not just in speed but in comfort too.

Now if I could only get through this morning without barfing up last night's wings, I'll be happy. They better process in time for tonight's swim. This may not end well for me.
















3 comments:

  1. Great post! The title totally matches the carnage displayed on the plates.

    fuckatchoo?......hahahaha!

    try focaccia :)

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  2. I am liking the exception to the rules! :)

    In answer to your question about water in the ears - nothing gets in there, not even water. I have weee little ears. I think the H2O Audio would fix the water in the ear problem, because they are made to fit snugly. Let me know (email me at manfarr1974 (at) yahoo (dot) com if you think you might get some I might have a lead on a discount code.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG, laughing my ass off - meatsweats, rednecks and Fran Dessert - ha ha ha!
    You can count on Freddie going the distance at the xmas party. He treats an open bar like you treat wing night!
    sub 5 min? Awesome! That's a dream for me!
    Jenn

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