Friday, November 26, 2010


I knew something was a bit off, I just couldn't quite put my finger on it. Let's analyze the evidence shall we:

1) Mood swings: For no reasonn I've been snapping at people. I have been extra critical, especially of those of the female species. I've been completely irrational.

2) Coffee: Instead of drinking my coffee, I have subconciously been craving and drinking tea instead!?

3) Bad Driving: Normally I am a pretty safe driver, I yield the right of way. Lately I've been cutting people off and not even noticing. I just take the lane that is mine mine mine. I curb the rims on the sidewalks and lane change without looking.

4) Navigational Skills: I look at a map and can't read worth shit. After staring at the map for 5 minutes, refer back to #1. It's all chineese to me, usually I am great with directions. Not-so lately.

5) Moobs(Man-Boobs): Have increased in size. I thought it was from all the workouts but now I'm not so sure.

My Man-Purse Lunchbag
6) Man-Purse: I never did like my lunchbag. It too closely resembles a purse, except now I've been storing more than just sandwhiches in there. I have been including spoons, forks, knives, salad dressings, napkins, toilet paper, nail files, receipts dating back months, lipstick, femenin hygiene products, umbrellas, kitchen sinks.

Lately I've been getting dark bags under my eyes and feeling a bit 'off'. I don't know if I am just obsessing but I suspect it might be a lack-of-something, like Iron or Calcium or something. Anyhow, Mrs. LoTC has been slipping me vitamin pills for awhile now and they may or may not be helping. Last night after my run I went looking for the horse pills so I could pop one and let it absorb with the pizza dinner sitting in my stomach.
This is the bottle she has been taking them from. Here is what i found:

Mmmmmk. I may not be able to read a map no more, but I'm pretty sure I'm reading that label correctly and I now know the cause! Mrs. LoTC has been secretly maniuplating my body chemistry to turn me into a woman!! See evidence #1-6.

As much as I wonder what it is that makes these vitamins 'Woman specific' - I can't help but worry about my wiener and beans shrivelling up and falling off. This could be serious!!%%!#!

Oh and incase you were wondering, I took one anyways. Re: Irrational, refer to #1.

I added in some extra distance on last night's run. The extended loop brought me through some nice quiet neighbourhood roads. Reasonably well lit, but no sidewalk which I prefer to run on the road but worry about getting hit by a car (Re: #3). I am going to change up the route again as the majority of the 'usual backroads' are way to busy at this time of night. It's tough finding a route around here. It's too bad the trails are too dark to traverse.


  1. I bought you men specific vitamins... I am away for one evening and see what happens when I am not home to care of you..LOL
    Mrs. Lotc

  2. Bullshit! You've been feeding me the woman's ones for weeks now!

    I even sat down today to pee.

    WTF HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!#@??$!?!!!!


  3. If you turn up Greenfield off of Dunsdon,lots of quiet streets in this area and taking Gretzky parkway trail instead of going all the way up to Brantwood.There are lots of good routes in this area

  4. Hahahahaha.... now the real question. Have you gotten your ears pierced like Bryan yet?? That would be the true sign to start worrying.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...