Sleep Training

 

We've all heard of sleep walking and sleep sexing but have you ever seen sleep training?? It goes something like this...

....Onto the bike I sprint out a decent lead on the pack. I make a quick dismount off the bike and run it into transition. One of the first here in transition I don't rush changing my shoes, I even sit down to do it. I grab my hammer-gel squeeze bottle and powerade bottle and instead of eating them before leaving transition I just shove them in my back pocket. On the way out of transition, I see my competition. Rodney has just left T2 with only 10 seconds in front of me. The key is that he doesn't see me. I take the moment to fuel on the run, I grab my flask of hammer-gel to find out it's HAND LOTION? WTF?? Mrs. LoTC prepared a bottle of hand lotion instead of hammer-gel for me?? Don't panic, I just stuff it back in my jersey pocket. I reach for my powerade bottle in the other pocket to find it's only WATER?? Wait, she messed that up too? Wonderful. It's only a sprint distance race so I don't need the calories anyways. I see Rodney up ahead filling his face with feed station schtuff, so I take this moment to toss the Hand-Lotion to the side and drink up the water and pour it over my head to cool down. The plan is to creep up on Rodney and convincingly blow by him so he cannot react.

I reach him and as he sees me he matches my pace. Fast forward to the last couple kilometers and we shake hands and I say 'its just like the Iron-War'. Stride for stride we come up on the last feed station and Rodney reaches for some water and gel and wait - didn't he see all the videos? The guy that uses the last feed station ALWAYS loses. I seize the moment and surge ahead and while it's too far a distance to sprint I suck it up and concentrate on technique and just run as hard as I can and not look back and...."

poke poke poke

Me: "Wait. Wait, Wut??", as I wake up.

Her: "You are dreaming."

Me: "Ohhh.."

Her: "By any chance were you dreaming about running?"

Me: "uhhh maybe. Why do you ask?"

Her: "You were running in your sleep. Your legs were moving and ankles were going a mile a minute and you were breathing hard too..."

Yes. I was sleep training.

Sooooo this could explain why my muscles are sore and I got a huge bruise on the side of my knee. I suspect while doing the 'bicycle-ish' movent laying on my side I was rubbing my knees together and could explain this bruising. Damn, I got issues. lol

A quick analysis of this dream says

• I have underlying anger issues with Mrs. LoTC for screwing up my Nutella on Ironman Muskoka race day. This explains the substitute nutrition issue.
• I need to stop sitting down to put my shoes on in T2. That cost me precious seconds when I got passed.
• Obviously I shouldn't have attacked so early, I need to work out a better strategy.
• I watch too many Ironman videos. Or maybe I shouldn't watch them 1000 times over and over
• There is nothing more disturbing than having Rodney show up in your dream. I think I need counselling.
• Seriously that's just f*cked up. Rodney SHOULD NOT be in my dreams.
• Must. Wear. Knee pads. To. Bed. Ow.
• Sleep on the couch. The wife interrupted my workout. That's gotta be worth some cardio and calories and she interrupted a good session ugghh...

All kidding aside, this is disturbing! What does this mean?!!??


TRAINING:

Sleep Running: 30mins, 0 Km